NEW YORK — An Arab immigrant is suing the Federal Aviation Adminstration after a recent incident at La Guardia Airport. The plaintiff, known only as Jafar, claims that he was harassed and interrogated after being selected for a random baggage check while preparing to board a flight.

“I have clearly been the victim of racial profiling and discrimination,” Jafar told the Associated Press. “I only wished to be left alone so I could embark upon my flight to Minnesota to meet my Internet girlfriend. But alas, before I even passed the x-ray machine, I found myself accosted by unworthy airport security guards, who began asking me absurd questions like ‘Where is Osama bin Laden?’ and ‘Weren’t you on an episode of 24?’”

The security guards have a much different account, however. They claim that Jafar became belligerent with an airline employee because she couldn’t upgrade him to first class, and several witnesses claim that at one point, he even threatened to decimate the entire Starbucks staff after having to wait more than five minutes for a Frappuccino.”He was incredibly difficult from the beginning,” said one guard, “and on top of that, his passport was a fake. Said he came from some place called ‘Agrabah,’ which quite simply doesn’t exist.”

However Jafar’s attorney, F. Lee Baily, contends that these accusations are baseless. “This is just classic racial profiling,” he said in a press conference. “I dream of a day when people will judge my client by his character, and not by his appearance, nor by the fact that he has attempted to enslave the entire world on more than one occasion.”