
LOS ANGELES — Disney executives made a stunning announcement today when they revealed that the highly-anticipated Camp Rock sequel, entitled ‘Camp Rock: The Final Jam,’ will take place at Camp Crystal Lake. Movie buffs know Camp Crystal Lake as the site of the ‘Friday the 13th’ series, where deranged serial killer Jason Voorhees slaughters his unsuspecting victims.
“We thought it would be fun to mix it up a little,” an anonymous Disney exec told Beyond the Mouse. “So I said, hey, how about we put the kids in a camp with a bloodthirsty killer. He can kill off some of the characters and sing a few musical numbers with the cast.”
No word if Demi Lovato’s character will have her head chopped off in the movie, but sources are saying that the Jonas Brothers are almost certain to find themselves hanging lifelessly from cabin closets, pools of fresh blood beneath their feet.
“We realize it’s a controversial idea,” the executive told us, “but we feel that it’s important to stop condescending to kids and start desensitizing them early on. It’s a cautionary tale. They need to know that any one of them could be the victim of a heinous chainsaw killing at any time, whether they’re at school trying to study, at home trying to sleep, or at Chuck E Cheese just trying to have a good time.
“In today’s world you are never, ever safe, and kids need to be constantly thinking about that.”


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